If you had the chance to speak to a person that had caused you deep pain and possibly endangered your life, what would you say to them? I had that chance. I did not waste it on ‘what could have been’ conversation. Because what happened…happened to me. I am blessed to still be on this side of life. Selah.The details of the incident no longer matter. For your sake I will say this:
Gods word states in Hebrews 12:14 “MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO LIVE IN PEACE WITH ALL MEN AND TO BE HOLY; WITHOUT HOLINESS NO ONE WILL SEE THE LORD.”
You see, I only knew of the first 10 words of the verse. Yes, I had truly fallen short. But, it wasn’t until after I had the conversation with this person and looking up the verse that I realized that I had fulfilled my duty within the entire verse. Amazing how the Holy Spirit works when you are sincere!
I asked the person why they did it. There answer was to place blame on me. We then chatted of other non related issues. Then the person kept adding to the list of what I had done that drove them to do what they did. I didn’t get upset, only said “Ok”. I saw that my calm and resolve was getting them agitated. I remained in the Spirit and let them talk and talk and talk. After getting nothing from me, I asked them if they remembered what they had said to me and what their harmful intentions were for me as they had said. I got a wide eyed look and no acknowledgement of their actions. No apology. Nothing.
Several months prior to this encounter, I had read this online and posted it: “Because of where God is taking you, some people from your past are coming back to you. Be careful. I have already shown you who they are.” I remembered that during my conversation with this person. God will prepare you for battle in advance and gird you during the fight. All you have to do is remain faithful to his word.
Continuing on. The person then began to ask the ‘Don’t you’ questions. My face and body language all answered ‘No’. I’m not the same person. I’m definitely not going to let you get back into my world again. I had to remain ‘HOLY’ otherwise the person would not see God and I would not be able to see God publicly work THEN AND THERE! I needed to see God work to keep me strong.
I did not seek this person for this conversation. They sought me out. My faith carried me through. I am grateful for the opportunity to have spoken to them. A year ago, it would have been quite different. One step in faith leads to another. Then another. Then another. I smile at it now. With no ill will for them. It is sad really. What I saw was a person in deep emotional turmoil on the hunt for a quick fix to kill the pain. Much like an addict. I shake my head, as I remember those days too.
So, what would you say to someone that wanted to see you hurt? Oh, and by the way-God said ‘Don’t worry about what you are going to say when they bring you before the judge. The Holy Spirit will give you the words to say.’
Yep, just a lil paraphrase for your mind.
-Alicia G. Gilliam