On Faith

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I am not ashamed to say that I literally don’t have a clue as to where my life is going right now. All I do know, is I’m in the safest place to be. As we take these assignments from God, we get weary. We need just a touch of His Latter Rain to maintain. He knows and He gives it to us freely, should we ask.

I recall when Hospice came to our home, the first time. To be sure, it was memorable. It ended up me asking them to leave. Momma was under the covers on the couch scared and my daughter was on the stairs with her arms folded, crying. I came out my bag and said “You come into my home with no documentation from any of her Doctors, begin taking medication away and talk amongst yourselves. Nope. You have to go.”

Now, they are back. The Geriatrician is from Burma. He is quite a distinguished Gentleman. Needless to say, my siblings and I are in agreement that we don’t want any of Mommas life sustaining medications removed. I went into prayer, the first time they came. I heard the Holy Spirit say: “ONLY GOD CAN SAY WHEN A MAN’S LIFE ENDS.”. That was the only confirmation I needed. After 6 years of caring for Mommie, we all agree on this one thing. MOMMIE WILL TRANSITION WHEN GOD RECEIVES HER. SHE WILL NOT BE USHERED OUT OF HERE. If/when times come and she needs pain meds, we will unanimously agree upon it.

I give God the glory for this unification.

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I’m so very honored to understand what it means to be on Assignment for God. He worked on me and is still working on me. Changing, reshaping, blessing and encouraging me. I remember a woman who lined up her children on their knees at the couch and lead them in the LORDS PRAYER. That woman is my Mother. Now, at 97, I treasure her so much more now. She is in Comfort Care Status, a term within the Medical Community. God has been mighty merciful to us. Through the 1st year of COVID19 and now embarking on a 2nd year of it.

I just want to say Thank You, Jesus!

You are loved and covered, Sister Handmaidens.



Now you know it is a shame to discuss, as well as hurtful, the family infighting is what I am referring to. Especially if it is YOUR family. You see the painfulness that they are doing to each other from their youth. It is worse than sibling rivalry. It’s not natural. Well, the cruxt of the story is that one isn’t fair.

Mine is no different. My sister that is two years older than I am would taunt me as a child. I had a phobia about ‘holes’. It came from reading the Britannica Enclopedia and seeing some type of reptile that carried its young on its back. To a 4 year old, it looked like holes in the back of the Mother reptile. Well, I would squirm and scratch myself down to the white meat. She would laugh maniacally while continuing to repeat the word ‘holes’. Not only that, I had to go with her wherever she went. You know, I was the tag-along. My sister made sure I paid for it. Once, she went to see a boy. They left me in the front room while they went into the bedroom. I was only 7. When they finished, we left and she warned me, “You better not tell Momma.” There are many occasions like that for me growing up.

We’re now all in our 60’s, Praise God. The abuse from my sister continues. Recently, I text her what really hurt me most that she did. Not once, but twice she blocked my attending College. First, she told our Mom that ‘I needed to stay at home and help Mom with these kids’. (The Grandchildren) Then, after I was settled into a College in our hometown, she comes through and tells Mom she’s dropping off her daughter. I had to leave the dorm and move back home. I didn’t finish my 1st semester. No regard for me at all. So, our oldest Sister told me I needed to ask for forgiveness after I told her what she’s done to me. I did. It didn’t sit right with me. Why am I apologizing for what she did to me?

Now, I am caring for Momma on my own. Let’s not disregard God’s glorious hand over me. All, I asked for 5 years now was that they call they Momma to keep her spirits up. Not that 1 sister. She’s told me, “I do not answer to you. I’ll call when I get good and ready.”

Another time, I was given the opportunity to speak to a Church in Kansas City. I asked her, since she was always in town, but never came by to see Momma. Her answer was this in a text: “No. Because, it would benefit you.” Pure evil??

It’s tragic. I miss doing her makeup, going thru my closet and giving her things. Like Momma said “I just want it like it used to be.”

You are loved, Sister Handmaidens.